A Song My Mom Loves

I’ll never forget when my mom told me how much she loved Cee Lo Green’s radio-edit-renamed “Forget You.” I asked if she knew it was actually “Fuck You”. I was fifteen and maybe she didn’t want me developing my inevitable potty-mouth, but in my memory and every retelling of this story, she got mad at me! As though I was the one who made the song explicit! Another time, someone cut her off on the highway and she replied, “Oh, fuck you!”

This was also that dark period in our nation’s history when the hottest boy band America could conceive of was Florida five-piece, Sleeping With Sirens. Their singer, Kellin Quinn, had that Bieber baby voice thing, and sometimes screamed his little lungs out. They were the anti-1D. The internet and I imagine his Tinder profile claim Quinn is five-foot eight, but having met him in person I can conclusively say he is approximately two feet tall, a hobbit raised by elves in the third age who got a little too into the histories of Mordor. When they performed at the singular venue in Vermont for touring bands, Higher Ground, he was wearing a Rumours t-shirt, and I never once saw his eyes, guarded as they were behind a fringe of impenetrable black hair. I will give Sleeping With Sirens this: they were the loudest band I’ve ever seen. They weren’t even headlining, on a bill with absolutely reprehensible acts Emmure and Attila, beneath the banner of my favorite Jesus-band: We Came As Romans. Sirens’ floor toms were so loud they made me physically nauseous. Someone actually threw up during their soundcheck. (Could’ve been the beer imbibed in the parking lot, but I Want To Believe.)

I liked Sleeping With Sirens well enough. They were fun, and genuinely strong musicians in a scene where the guitar tabs were all binary code. They were also a band you got called a faggot for liking. Often by the meathead fans of bands Emmure and Attila. This scene after all was mightily concerned with authenticity, and Sirens’ pop chops were fake as fuck. They were a girly band, in that girls liked them. Emmure and Attila were Real Ones. Loud, abrasive, unapologetically misogynistic. (Sirens was not really an exception here. The crossover appeal of misogyny is undeniable, punk or pop. I’m sure I didn’t even know the word misogyny at that age, and Attila’s most ardent defender in my circle was a woman. But like Mr. Mulaney says, we don’t have time to unpack all of that!)

However, the realest I ever found the screamo scene was when a Punk Goes Pop compilation came out, and bands played their covers of the day’s Top 40 live. Legendary among these stands A Day To Remember’s version of “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson. Deserving of a close second place spot, is Kellin Quinn’s take on the Cee Lo bop my mother loves so.

These covers usually make a point to go Way Too Hard, breakdowns and screaming over everything, rendering the original song illegible beneath a deluge of distortion. For many bands, Punk Goes Pop was a chance to be funny, to engage momentarily and (importantly) ironically with radio-friendly music. The songs are parodies. Except to those students of the art like Sleeping With Sirens, who honor the original, and welcome it into their own genre.

True to their live performances, the drums on “F**K You” are absolutely deafening. Yet you never have to guess what Quinn is saying. He does an admirable rendition of Green’s flexible vocal range without any cringey imitation Blaccent. There is the requisite breakdown in the song’s bridge, and it’s a good one. The gang vocals that precede it are certified scene classic. The sampled bell sound in place of the ever-popular China cymbal does the dissonance wonders. The only way to reach this pinnacle is unabashedly loving a pop song Emmure fans would call you a poserpussyfaggot for enjoying. It’s a perfect cover.

The other day I was in the car listening to the actual radio, and they played a song by GAYLE, Tiktok star and apotheosis of Gerard Way’s observation, “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me”. In the clean cut of her “abcdefu”, she declares, “A-B-C-D-E forget you!”

I bet my mom would like this one too.

When did you learn the word “fuck”? Do you know how to drive? Hit me back—it’s for research purposes.